Life Update (Plus the Answers to Some of Your IG Questions)

I have been on hiatus lately – trying to make sense of adulting plus yes, my health has been a big chunk of burden too. Imagine bringing myself to the ER twice in a span of 1 week. Ang hassle! But yeah, life has been relatively unpredictable – both in a good and rough way. I’ve let go of writing for a while and have devoted my time to tons of books (Thanks Big Bad Wolf!), acrylics and brushes (yes, I’m trying a new art), Blackpink music, hair clips and my new work. 

At the same time, the first quarter of 2019 has been quite an emotional season for me – WHAT’S NEW SHAIRA! But yes, I guess that when you’re in your late 20’s, that’s when reality knocks you down. Like you’re an adult but you are looking for an older adult who is successfully adulting because the entire process of doing it is challenging AF. Haha! Really, it is not easy – relationships, career, money, responsibilities and all those piles of minor (DO I HAVE TO TAKE ANGKAS TODAY AND RISK MY LIFE OR TAKE GRAB AND PAY THRICE THE FARE?) to major decisions (SHOULD I GO BUY BEAUTYMNL STUFF KAHIT NA DI PA SWELDO?) that you have to make every day. There are times when I just go home and start crying because I feel exhausted and drained.

But because I’m the lost member of the Avengers, I will always have the power to get through all these shitons. Iba to sizzzztttt! So here I am trying to write again, hoping to get back into the zone. 

A few weeks ago, I posted a question on my IG stories asking people to suggest topics which I can write about. I wanted to catch my readers’ thoughts because I value YOU. Yes YOU! 

So let me lay down some of the questions and my answers as well.

Disclaimer: I am no expert, not even a Pysch major or whatever.  I am answering everything from my personal point of view and my past experiences and yes this is me trying to open up to YOU just like how I used to do it *wink wink*

Career Vs. Blog? (From itsrhubieee)

To be honest, I started blogging with just the intention of having a platform where I could write and voice out my stuff. It’s just that along the way, several things happened and it became a profitable medium for me.  But as you know I am not just a blogger or a social media girl per se. I love blogging but it comprises just a small percentage of who I am and what I do. 

My career is a whole yard of different fields moulded into one (pretty much explains why I juggle 6 jobs) so while I will always choose career over anything, blogging will always be a part of it. This is also reason why I don’t blog merely for commercial purposes. I write to tell stories and I write to share my thoughts with people. 

How do you deal with stress, anxiety and depression? As a person as as a blogger/influencer (From cheensbeans)

I have a lot of emotional breakdowns. Sometimes, it actually doesn’t help that I live alone because every time my anxiety kicks in, no one’s by my side to tell me that everything is gonna be fine. But to be fair, that’s how I’ve learned to deal with things on my own.

I get anxious because I overthink a lot. I tend to worry about the future a lot. I fear failure. I fear judgement. I fear rejection.

Some days in 2017, I also fell into the deep realm of depression and it’s dark and weary out there. I had to fight all my inner demons to survive.

Now, after 2 years, I am not saying that I am perfectly okay. I still have my anxiety attacks, I still easily get stressed out and I get sad over the simplest things but little by little I’ve learned a myriad of ways to cope up with these things. I talk to friends (I am blessed to have the best people around so thank you guys), I travel (I book random flights), I find new hobbies, I find new music that will interest me, I date myself. In general, I keep myself busy doing passion projects and being just out there.

I’ve also made room for mistakes. I stop blaming myself for failures and instead make every downfall a learning experience. 

It’s not easy. Just like you who’s reading this, I am trying. I hope you’re trying too <3

How to work on your trust issues? (From annefelias)

Now here’s the thing, I am the girl with so many trust issues but chooses to trust anyway. Gets? It’s quite complicated because I have that fear of being betrayed, humiliated, taken advantage of or otherwise manipulated all over again but at the end of the day, when someone new comes into my life, I will still accept the creature with arms wide open (kaya tayo napapahamak e, lol).

One thing mom taught me is that I should try to see the good in people. Don’t judge them based on their past. Think of them as a blank canvas and it only gets tainted once they do something nasty. Otherwise you’re good.

So my trust issues are overpowered with my desire to accept and understand the individual. I dunno if that’s wrong. But it’s meeeee.

How to choose who to be there for all the time (dahil aminin natin we cant be there for everyone – From jowly)

Now this is quite tricky because part of adulting is actually trying to squeeze everything in one day = 24 hours. That includes WORK WORK WORK WORK (Rihanna tune) plus some social life and me time on the side! So how do you choose who to be there for all the time? I can’t say na all the time cause you all of us are complex social animals. We have families and friends and pets and work colleagues.

My advice is be there for people who need you the most at that very moment. And that includes yourself. If you need your time alone because you’re having some serious mental breakdown, it’s okay to say no to others. 

What’s the best dating advice that you can give? (From kimmyyyyy)

Don’t ignore the red flags! My dating cycle has been a series of failures and while I am not very proud of it, I have to say that I learned a lot from every experience. Because I am a people-pleaser, I will always adjust myself (my time, my lifestyle lol) to the person I wanna connect with. VERY WRONG! I always end up bruised and sometimes totally wrecked (because ang dali na ngang nag trust, inignore pa ang red flags).

So yes, always pay attention to the signs. 

Too often we see something and wish it was a small drawback, rather than an indication of something bigger. We force it because we badly want it and we just end up messing up. The red flags and the deal breakers are non-negotiables. Keep that in mind, Queen. 

Love,