2017, I’m Cutting You Short; 2018, Let’s Make It Strong

December 24, 2017
by
shai habon

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” ~Henry David Thoreau

To be honest, I don’t know if this is something I’d like to disclose. I’ve written several personal blogs before and while I thought those entries are already very dramatic with some hinges of over sharing, this final-2017-parting blog is somehow my most bittersweet narration of how this year went by and how it caught me in the middle of sadness, depression and a whirlwind of faith loss and anxiety.

But here it is.

*If you want to skip the drama, head on to the last part of this post cause I’m serving a nice giveaway at the end.

I know it’s still a few days before new year but today, I am cutting 2017 short. I came to a point when I thought I’ve already had enough of all the hullabaloo and the only best thing to do is to move forward. ASAP.

People will always call me Little Miss Sunshine. I am always the happiest person in a room – the life of the party, the one with the biggest smile wearing big hoop-y earrings and sparkly colourful nails. I make friends with everybody and I relate well with everyone just by carrying my jologs-simplejane-sometimes alta self.

This year, the story is all different. As I try to be the best version of my happy self, I found the old me drowning in all the wrongness of life.

This year, I ended my almost 4-year relationship with someone whom I thought I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with. You know when you already have those big plans of putting things together and making a good life out of it? Then suddenly things crush and you find yourself being tricked and fooled in the end. It sucks, I know. I actually wrote about it in a recent blog.

This year, I lost one of my best friends for reasons I do not know. I know growing apart with people is life’s nature but to actually cut ties with a soulmate is a different story. And it’s worse when you don’t even know what the reasons are.

This year, I lost my besty Ralph. He’s that little boy who’s always been my happy pill whenever I’m feeling down. He laughs at my jokes and shoots some of my photos. It’s sad that we had to let him go and that his passing is so sudden, I didn’t really have the chance to tell him how much I love him.

Towards the end of this year, I fell in love again and I lost it in a short time. Probably the biggest heartbreak I’ve had in my entirety. You know when you’ve poured everything in, compromised things and make adjustments just to fit in someone else’s life? At the end you realised it still wasn’t enough and it made you think, what the hell happened in there?

This year, I had terrible financial problems and business isn’t as good as before.

Yes, I sucked big time in a lot of aspects.

I blamed myself for everything that has happened. I thought I was missing my purpose when I am not able to really make people stay and happy.

I went through some series of emotional breakdowns. I lost a bit of my sanity. I found myself drinking and smoking a lot, forgetting school and all my work shiz (and it’s not even my natural state).

And it’s even harder when I’m expected to talk and deliver speeches in schools and inspire students by sharing my mini “success” stories because, dude, I failed so many times in life and I am not the strong Shai you all thought I am.

I had to go through self-therapy and enlightenment. I had to meet and talk to friends constantly just to get the assurance that I’m gonna make it through. And if there’s one good thing about this year, that is the fact that I am able to gain real true friends. Yung pwede mong itext kahit midnight, pwede mong yayain kahit rush hour.

So to you Maddie, Riki, Queen, Karla, Hazel, Chesy, Aiko, JM, Dan, Gian, Louie, Klyde and all the friends I bugged just to watch and hear me cry, thank you.

STRONG START

It took me quite a while to convince myself that life’s worth living.

Cue in: Andra Day’s Rise Up

Aside from help from friends, I found out that going to church, organising, planning and plotting activities for the coming year seem to be working for me.

So just last weekend, I’ve decided to finally open my very own Starbucks planner (got this from the holiday event) and started jotting down things for 2018.

So why did I choose the Starbucks planner? Well, I’d like to emphasize how good this year’s planner designs are.

The 2018 planners are encased in real leather sleeves and serve as protection from all kinds of dust and water spills (or even coffee spills). The leather comes in a light and dark brown tones.
The planners come with a Special Edition Kape Vinta card that can be activated and used in stores. It also serves as an entry to Starbucks’ Free Drink Everyday raffle promo (see their page for more details)
The planners come with unique set of accessories perfect for all your doodling and scribbling needs.
Starbucks donates a part of the planner proceeds to their partner NGOs – Teach for the Philippines (TFP) and The Philippine Educational Theater Association (PETA).
The planners, as always, are just perfectly designed (that’s pretty self explanatory).

And yes, I’ve started planning things, booked a few trips and scheduled several workshops (relearning French plus some baking and cooking lessons in between YAS). I’m also gonna take my comprehensive exams this year so wish me luck as I embark on a more challenging school journey.

As I close this post (and this year), I’ve prepared something for my readers. For bearing with me and for tediously reading all my drama and promotional posts, here’s a little treat for you!

I’m giving out one Starbucks planner, a Starbucks tumbler and 1,000 worth of branded makeups to one lucky winner. Just follow the steps below:

1. Like / Follow the ff. pages below:

Twitter: www.twitter.com/shaihabon

Instagram: www.instagram.com/shairahabon

2. Comment below the ff. info: Name, Instagram username, Email Address, Link to shared social media post (make sure it is on public) and the answer to the question “What is/are your biggest plan/s for 2018?

OPTIONAL/PLUS POINTS: Gain extra points when you comment on my other blog/Instagram posts 🙂

Note: This promo is open to Philippine residents only. Make sure to follow the instructions and submit your entries on or before January 1, 2018. Draw is on the 31st.

So there you have it. I hope you got something from my mini sharing and I wish you good luck on the giveaway 🙂 Happy holidays everyone! AMDG

“Whatever happens, I’ll just keep moving forward. Like an avalanche” – Michelle Phan

Comments Off

10 Comments

Yya Valencia
24th Dec 2017 - 4:54 pm

Ate Shai, You always give the light in my darkest times. If I were to have someone who writes every thought and feeling that I have, it would surely be YOU. I was never good with words but I still do have this mini blog filled with random thoughts. For the record, I was once you. I got my self BROKEN and LOST.

For the longest time that I can remember, Losing myself was the worst thing to happen. I lost track, I dont even know what am i doing with my life and found myself smoking —— too. ? Then I told myself, “HULING IYAK KO NA ITO.” And then I grew stronger. ❤️ With God’s grace, I am so much happier.

PLANS FOR 2018:
•I hope to pass the Licensure exam. ELEKTRIKAL ENGINEER! AMEN!
• I hope to do my dream — Feed the cancer patients. I hate to see them in pain! ?
•See more beautiful places here in PH! ❤️
•To fill my blog with HAPPY THOUGHTS! ❤️?
•To live a happy and stronger life this 2018!!!
•Lastly, To meet you personally this 2018!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
JJ Natividad
24th Dec 2017 - 6:05 pm

I’ve always loved your writings, Shai. Others may find it dramatic but I find it realistic. Sharing how difficult life is for you makes someone else who feels the same find a companion in the online world. And trust me, finding someone who understands this kind of battles is priceless.

Like you, I had the same struggles this 2017.I found myself drowning from emotions I don’t understand. I had a lot of past traumas that came out to the surface. I broke down at work last year until had to stop working to focus on my mental health. Self-awareness is such an important thing when it comes to overcoming personal struggles but it’s not so easy to attain. I found life not worth living. Wanted to give up for so many times. Lost purpose. Didn’t how I kept going but I did.

So this 2018, I plan..
*To go back to workplace and pursue my dreams that I had put on hold because of my struggles
*To go out-of-the-country for the very first time
*To continue working on myself until I become the best person I could be
*To pursue for a life better than my past.

Please don’t ever discount again this kind of stories as just drama because to someone else out there who have the same struggles, they might just have find a relief in knowing that they are not alone. After all, we’re all in this together. Sending you love and inspos to lift you up <3 :))

http://www.instagram.com/iamjamjadejj
http://www.twitter.com/jjadenatividad
Arselyn de Guzman-Intoy
24th Dec 2017 - 8:56 pm

Hello Ms. Shai! Glad you’re feeling better na! Hindi ko alam na ganyan na pala yung pinagdadaanan mo. Kaya mo po yan! Aja lang sa life and keep the faith! Everything will fall into place at the right time. And remember, yung mga matitinding struggles binibigay ni G sa strongest soldiers nya. And isa ka dun, alam nya na hindi mo yan susukuan at makakayanan mo yan. Way lang nya yan para patatagin ka pa! Fighting lang! I will include you in my prayers. Happy Holidays!
Maria Hazel
24th Dec 2017 - 9:07 pm

Love you mumshhh! Even if I am not the kaladkarin friend kasi hello ldr. HAHAHHA I’ll be here whenever you need someone na nonsense kausap, para sumaya ka. HAHAHHA! Also, sending tats inspo everh time I found one.
Katrine Vinluan
24th Dec 2017 - 11:37 pm

Hi!

Katrine Vinluan
@katvinluan
ksvinluan@gmail.com
https://www.instagram.com/katvinluan
“What is/are your biggest plan/s for 2018?

My biggest plan for 2018 is to finally start on my Masters degree. I’ve been putting it off until I pass the Nursing Board (that was my biggest plan/goal of 2016, and I did!), I’ve recently started working again and realized agin just how important education is. This realization is what drives me now to start on getting a Masters degree so that I can, in the bear future, share of my knowledge and experience to the next generation.

Having read your post, I understand the feeling of failure. I can’t for certain say that I know what depression is like, as I have been fortunate to have a good support system. But nonetheless, I am very happy that you have friends that you can always run to and rely on. From what I learned in school and through experience, a good support system goes a long way into helping with depression. I pray you never feel depressed again and that you continue to inspire others.
Fati Recede
26th Dec 2017 - 3:15 pm

There, There. Ate Shai..I there are different circumstances of failure and this one just made me sad. 🙁 I can feel your sadness, emotions in every words.. Probably a part of it. I wish nothing but a fresh new 2018 for you. You don’t know me personally but I am one of those people who will be with you through sadness until you finally will be okay again. ❤️ I know you are a tough woman. There will come a time that all the heartaches will go ❤️ As the saying goes, “Life is tough my darling.. but so are you” ❤️

As for my plans this coming year, I am planning to leave all these not-so-good memories in 2017 and bring all the sweet moments I have this coming #2018. Just like you and everybody else, I want to start my 2018 with a clear heart and mind so I can fulfill all my plans all throughout the year. I am also planning to bring my parents out of the country for vacation. They are not getting any younger so i want to see them enjoying while they can. And to just pay back all their sacrifices and patience in raising me and my sibs. 🙂 This 2018, I am also planning to start a small business so I can help provide for my family ❤️

Fati Recede
IG: @fatirecede
fatirecede@yahoo.com
Link of shared post: https://twitter.com/fatircede/status/945548343689670657
Monique Galang
27th Dec 2017 - 6:56 am

Even 2017 doesnt your year, you had many lessons you learn from it and you’ll apply it this coming 2018. Stronger 2018! Its reallt hard that you set plan with them and sadly, we’re even not on their plans (saaad and unfair. hugot) But life must go on. Everything happens for a reason.

I had so many plans this coming 2018! i also love writing my plan every year since 2014(i still have the notebooks)! At the end of the year, i cross out all the plan i achieved. This year i have so many plans! Some of those, i wanted to take and pass ielts exam, reach 10k followers on ig, have a monthly giveaway on ig, be more active on blogging(it was my plan this year, maybe i should say improve my blog and be consistent on writing), meet people who inspire me/who i follow (like you!), and i wish i could attend some blogger events even im not that sooo influencer haha i just want to bond with the people i only see online. Get a camera (its been my wish since then haha), work online, Share more (i just learn this Christmas that its happier to share what you have), be a exercise addict, achieve my dream body, be strong physically, be fashionable, travel somewhere and so much moreeeee plan!!

Thank you for this giveaway shai! This made me realize that i need to write down my plans ba because i have a lots haha. But ill wait for this SB planner so i could start writing ;p

Monique Galang
ig @ hellomonique_
moniquegalang@yahoo.com
twitter @ moniquegalang_
Monique Galang
27th Dec 2017 - 6:59 am

** my shared link: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10208366479558765&id=1808379093

my email: moniiquegalang@yahoo.com
Yya Valencia
1st Jan 2018 - 12:19 pm

NEW COMMENT DAHIL MAY MATINDING PLOT TWIST PA PALA ANG 2017!!!!

2 days before 2017 ends. I failed my subjects which made me feel BROKE AF!!! I cried my heart out! Luhod na ako. Jusko 2017, may pahabol ka pa palang pasabog! Sabi ko kagabi, Last day ng 2017, and last na iyak ko na rin ito swear!!!! So palitan ko na plans ko this 2018:

Let’s start with a small step.
I promise to put myself first before anything else, before anyone else. This time ako naman. This time, happiness ko naman. ❤️

For the longest time, I’ve always put myself on the 2nd spot and always prioritize others. This 2018, AKO NAMAN MUNA ANG MAS MAMAHALIN KO. ??

2018 will be my year.

Sana ate shai, maging totoong happy na tayo pareho!! ❤️❤️❤️

Followback naman sa twitter. Hihi love yah!!!
CJ Macatangay
1st Jan 2018 - 11:41 pm

Cj Macatangay
IG: @cj_snaps
Email: cjeimac@gmail.com
http://www.instagram.com/cj_snaps

My 2018 plan is to finally work abroad/on a cruise ship. I have always wanted to apply abroad since 2014, but whenever I feel the urge to pursue it, I always feel doubt and ask myself can I really do this. This time, in God’s will and perfect timing, it all will come at the right moment.