The Real #PandemicEffect: Letting Go and Letting God

It’s been a long time since I wrote something personal and I’m just glad I got some free time today to scribble things. 

How are you?

Honestly, I find myself throwing that question a lot. This entire pandemic taught me to always find a way to check on everybody, even those “online friends” whom I haven’t really met in person. 

Another round of lockdown and I have to admit that is probably the toughest for me. It’s the season when I got my heart broken for so many things — lost relationship, lost opportunities, lost friends. It’s also the same season when I started worrying so much about the future. Is there enough time for me to reach my dreams? I mean I still have so many stuff on my bucket list! Will I get to travel again? Will I ever have my own family? How do I get my needs covered for the next 5, 10 years? 

I have experienced panic attacks and believe me it’s so hard to deal with the overwhelming thoughts especially when you’re alone at home. Every day, I just feel the need to show up because I have to. But every night, I’d end up wallowing in sadness because I feel like I can’t catch up with the world. 

I have been a Christian for years but I was never really the present one. I go on and off church service and I only pray when I feel like I need to pray. But this situation has placed me in such a helpless position that I found my self kneeling before Him asking for strength and guidance. I know I just can’t do it alone. 

In my recent worship, I’ve realized that there is an overwhelming sense of peace that only God can bring about in this time. I know it is only through His power and guidance that I am getting through this. And in my aloneness, I have found ways to love myself and step out in faith. 

Today, I am laying out a few points that God has been continuously showing me during the past few weeks and this has helped me survived (and continue to survive) the plague in my soul.

1. Allow yourself to grieve

Remember that you are allowed to grieve the things you have lost, however small it is. It has been a tough time for everyone. Most of us lost our jobs, our connections, our drive, our loved ones. 

I personally have been struggling with thoughts that God has taken everything away from me. But I also realized that this moment of grief is part of human living. 

And if I can offer you any type of boost, it’s not going to come in the form of “This too shall pass,” or “God has a reason for everything,” but just that God hears your heart and His is breaking right alongside yours. Give yourself some time. Allow yourself to process. This has all been insanely hard and you deserve the right to be disheartened and grieve in ways you need to. But also know that our God is a sovereign God who does not allow hardship to happen without joy or rejoicing. So, although it may seem like this just keeps getting worse and worse, try to see this time as an opportunity for you to allow God to teach you about true joy.

“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – II Corinthians 12:10

2. Get in touch with everyone you love

Face-to-face relationships may have taken a halt but don’t let connections die out. Reach out to friends, families, relatives and people whom you love and make you feel loved. I personally have set schedules for online wine nights and Zoom meet ups with some of my close friends and I must say that it’s quite a fun activity. I’d free up weekends for my church connect group meetings and I will always randomly pop on people’s stories just to give them words of love and encouragement. 

A simple ‘kamusta’ can go a long way, trust me. 

3. Take refuge in God

Taking refuge in God’s goodness does not mean immediate escape from pain and suffering. But it means trusting Him fully and understanding that He got you covered in every aspect of your life. 

I ask that you start by knowing Him first because how you can trust someone you don’t have a relationship with? Read the Bible, converse and pray with people. Make that act of “seeking” a conscious effort because only then that we get to discover who He really is and what He is capable of doing. 

The great promise to those who seek the Lord is that he will be found. “If you seek him, he will be found by you” (1 Chronicles 28:9). And when he is found, there is great reward. “Whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him” (Hebrews 11:6) God himself is our greatest reward. And when we have him, we have everything. Therefore, “Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” (Psalm 105:4).

Lastly, I’d like to assure you that soon, things will eventually fall into place. Let’s take this time to fully entrust our courage and faith in the God who can control it all. Let go, let God 🙂

Also, how can I pray for you? Please know that I’m just one chat away. My socials are open for you or you can email me at contact@shairahabon.com.

In Christ,